~The Red Shirts~

Boo the reds...

Yay the yellows...

And the crowd goes wild...

And so... The Prime Minister visited the college that I studied in...
Students were wearing red... Symbolizing their support towards the current country leaders...

But really... Can you always believe what you see? 

With all the things our country been through... We all know the colour codes...

Yes... Red or yellow...

Red. The colour of the current decision makers... The colour of power...

Yellow. The colour of country cleanliness... The colour of freedom from the suppressing red... 

So, why were the students wearing red?

"College forced us to..."

But still, I do not blame the college for anything...

The red shirts were just the college orientation t-shirts...

Each year the college gives out different coloured shirts and I see no problem of giving out red shirts this year... No matter how people want to view it, I just see it as college orientation shirts...

And, the college operates with 50% subsidy from the government...

Like it or not, it helped a lot of people... And not just one specific race but all races...

It provided education with quality, with good academic tutors, with affordable prices...

And people said no one can force someone to do what you do not like...

Even if the college did force the students to do so, can you blame them?

It is a big college with a lot of staff and students... And there is a necessity for the college to make sure that everyone who is connected to the college can work and study properly...

What if things go wrong? Who will have the ability to support those who lost their jobs or opportunities to study?

The college authorities have their concerns too... 

And there will always be some other side of a story left unheard...

I think that students should not put the blame on the college too...

A college's well-being is a blessing to the students... 

If the college gets the university title, will it not benefits the students too?

And why must the crowd goes scolding the students with anger?

Just because the students did not wear the preferred colour of the current nation, people start to attack them by commenting all sorts of harsh things...

Have you forgotten about the purpose of yellow?

It is for the nation to have freedom, to show the light at the end of the tunnel...

By scolding the students just for wearing red, are you not forcing them too?

Were you there to witness everything?

A country's well-being is not determined by a shirt's colour...

It is more than that...
It is about the heart that you have... The goal that you want to achieve... The vision that all of us have for a better country... 

And most importantly, being united as a country...

We will go no where if we keep stabbing each other... 

We strive for peace and harmony, not chaos or blood...

I love my college.

I love my country.

But in the end...

We are just fighting amongst ourselves...

~Love Goes Swoosh~

Swoosh~

What was that?

Relationships now are quite interesting...

Its kinda funny to see how people claim to love someone so deeply and self proclaim "Married to [someone whom I love so much after one week of sweet texting or dates]" on some social network sites...

I'm not trying to judge anything but I do think that some (or can I say most) relationships now are kinda shallow...

The word "love" is so common now... It is just too easy...

"I love you", there says a boy to a girl...

How long does it take for that three magical words to be said in a relationship?

Erm... One week? One month?

It is interesting to see how things happen so fast...

First you see two friends...

The next thing you know...

"In a relationship" or even "Married".

And you see non-stop romance on statuses and comments...

After one month or a little bit more... Just when you think that couple should be getting along quite well...

"Single".

Seriously?

It used to be "愛". The one with heart in the centre...

But now it is just one line across... "爱".

Anyway...

To me, the word "love" can wait until you really feel it, understand it and know it...

Sometimes, it is just not about how you should say it before it is too late...

When you say it, you have to mean it from your heart...

And when you truly understands each other...

Oh...

That was just the so called "love"...

Nothing special...

~To The One I Loved for More Than A Year~

You probably think I never loved you...

Finally... Exams are over...

Finally... I have time for myself...

I've been controlling myself so hard not to think about us...

I would be lying to say I don't miss you...

For more than a year... You were in my life...

The story started sweet... very sweet...

You made me fell for you...

Made me believed that finally I have someone to rely on...

Someone who will be there for me when I need a shoulder...

Someone who will give me warmth when I'm in the coldest winter...

Someone who will treasure me...

I was really tired...

Tired for being independent all the time...

Tired for carrying the weight on my shoulder...

And you came the right time...

And so... You told me...

---------------------------------------------

I will help you achieve 3.5...

You will not regret choosing me...

You are the best I've ever had...

My love for you is greater than anything my life...

If i lose you, I will never find someone better and it will be the biggest mistake in my life...

I can't live without you...

Many more....

---------------------------------------------

Memories...

Waited for you to finish your training...

Went to the hospital with you...

Waited at the monorail station for more than an hour just so i can spend our Valentine's together...

I miss your hugs...

I miss your smell...

I miss your kiss...

I'm not a computer... I can't delete and backspace with one click...

You said no one trust you anymore because of that email...

Who am I then?

You made me fell in love with you and you slashed me again and again with a blunt knife...

I was half alive...

I couldn't breathe...

I couldn't sleep...

I couldn't eat...

My heartbeat was so fast that I thought I'm gonna die...

I even went to the hospital...

I gave myself a false hope... I lied to myself...

I didn't know what to trust anymore...

All those things you said to me... Did you mean it?

You said you will not get yourself in another relationship after me as you don't want to hurt anyone anymore...

But I know... Deep down you fell for her...

I blamed myself...

I wasn't good enough...

At first you told me i'm your type...

And yet after a year you told me I'm not...

You said you'll never hurt me...

And you scolded me for her...

Bitch... F*** you...

That was what you scolded me...

All the mean words you said to me...

You even scolded my friends for protecting me...

Because of you, I couldn't step into the library... The place where we first hold hands...

Now... Its a place for you and her...

Everywhere I go I think of you...

I was naive... I begged for another chance for us...

Yes... I begged...

And all you wanted in return was intimacy...

The kind of intimacy that I'm not prepared to give...

One hour...

You asked it from me for one whole hour...

And the next day you said it was just a test...

What is the reality?

All you wanted was just that?

A part of me tells me that you love me...

That you did this for me...

I guess I'm really stupid...

She is the reality...

You broke me into pieces for so many times and I had to pick the pieces up and patch it back by myself...

Seeing you messaging her in front of me...

You asking me to give you a chance to try out with her when we were still together...

You telling me that she is not your type...

You telling me that you like her...

I knew you love her...

You denied it...

It wasn't hard to see...

I've been with you for more than a year...

You said you lost the sweetness...

No. You didn't.

You were sweet when we started...

And you were sweet with her...

You have no idea how long I cried for you...

I dreamt of you almost every night...

And I couldn't sleep because of you...

And I know...

You will be with her...

The image of you and her just kept popping up in my head...

And I guess I meant nothing to you...

To you... Its all my fault...

You said I'm not suitable as your girlfriend...

Yet you said I'm your everything...

You said you don't deserve me...

I know...

I was wrong...

I could have be more gentle...

Happier...

Sweeter...

Girlier...

Many more...

I was... You know it too...

I loved you...

And all I wanted was to make us work...

I wanted to bring the best out of you...

To let people see that you are not the person that the email claimed you are...

And now...

I'm trying my best to eliminate all the sad memories...

Leaving the happy ones we had in me...

千千万万个“我爱你”，换来的是现在的空虚。。。

However... I thank you for making me stronger...

Thank you for all the things you did for me...

It takes time to heal but I know I can do it...

It will leave a scar but that is what makes me tougher...

And to you... Stop breaking hearts...

Stop making promises that you end up forgetting...

Treat the one you love with all your heart...

Don't simply say "I love you" cause you never know how much those three words mean to the girl...

Appreciate her cause you never know the one that you let go might just be the one and only for you...

No one deserves to be in the position that I was in...

The grief...

The pain...

If I was any weaker, I might even made it to the newspaper...

And thank you to my friends and family...

Everyone who was there when I shed my tears...

I love you guys and I'm lucky to have all of you...

I did...

I did love you...

~Fade~

Fading away...

Feels like everything is fading away...

Sorry that I'm insecure...

What am I supposed to do...

When you used up all your tolerance, you'll start to burn something else...

Eventually, you'll fall apart...

Things are always so much better when it starts...

And half way through, you realize things changed...

The candy is no longer sweet...

I'm getting weaker...

Seems like everything is my fault...

No matter how i try, it will still be my fault...

Everything...

I'm no longer the one with mega tolerance...

I've used up my tolerance...

It hurts me to wonder if you care...

It hurts me to wonder what the heck I am...

It hurts me to wonder over and over again...

Please...

Make it wonderful...

Again...

Please stop it...

~A Sinking Titanic~

Everyone back then thought that Titanic will never sink...

But in the end it did...

Broken...

My heart sunk like the great Titanic...

Tears falling all of a sudden...

I tried and tried...

But it just seems like there's no point trying...

Like I deserve nothing...

It breaks me every time when I compose that long message that's truly need to be comprehend and it breaks me even more when I realize that it is ignored...

Maybe from certain point of view, I'm just being over-emotional...

Is that it?

I'm not seeking for attention...

I just need the message to be understood...

I really tried...

And I'm still trying...

I'm putting in all the effort I can...

I'm not perfect...

And I'm not trying to be perfect...

I just want to be good enough...

I'm wrong...

But is it a necessity to call me such names?

Have I ever did anything that is so harmful to you to the point that you have to make me break that hard?

I'm mentally tired...

There are so much more but I just cant carry on...

I hope I can have a great day on the fifth day of the month of ten...

No matter how great it was...

It was still a ship...

~Burial Ground~

I broke the law...

Intruded a burial ground...

Dug out the corpse...

And I hate myself for that...

Sometimes...

Somethings are just meant to be unknown...

Why must I be so stupid...

"Curiosity kills the cat"...

Indeed... I'm dead...

I am really sorry that I let it affect me... But I just cant help it...

It is somehow heartbreaking to know what I know now... And i dont know what I should do...

It is heartbreaking because I couldnt bring myself to believe it...

Insecure... Afraid...

Tearing too much...

Thinking too much...

Am I doing the right thing?

Perhaps I'm just not used to this kind of situation...

I need time... More time...

I'm trying very hard... Trying my best to wipe everything off...

It is really my fault...

I hate the nosy me...

I have too much doubt now... Too many images wandering in my head...

Will things change?

Is it possible to change? I think it is...

Please...

May the change be possible...

I'm trying my best now...

I'm hoping the best for all...

Now...

Images of that rotting corpse keeps on haunting me...

Please bury the corpse back to where it belongs...

Please...

~Pizzled~

Hmm...

Today...

I don't like it...

First...

Complains...

Why can't people see what good stuff has a person done instead of complaining what hasn't a person done?

Why won't someone judge themselves before judging others?

And when finally someone does what you have asked for, you just won't show appreciation, but complain that it is not good enough...

That is why in the end, people stop doing what you want, because it is pointless...

So, please don't complain so much...

Shut it...

Second...

Kids...

I realize that kids these days are asking for what they do not deserve, or what they are not suppose to have...

Wasting parents' money without thinking...

Rite, parents love their children, hence giving them what they want...

NO...

Let your kids grow up, or better, grow brains...

Stop pampering them...

Stop spoiling them...

Buying PSPs, laptops, cellphones, and bla bla bla during primary school level is not going to help them get better results...

You're not suppose to buy them laptop just because they get wonderful results of ONE ace out of TEN subjects...

What's the laptop for when you're in primary or lower secondary? DOTA all day long? or to do some researches on exotic romance?

If you're rich, donate it to the charity...

There are tonnes of people who need your help out there...

I seriously don't get the idea of rewarding your children with lavishness for something that they should do...

wth...

I just don't like it...